Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
