You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
