either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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