We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
