I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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