apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
