there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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