god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm just crazy horny about you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
