He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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