you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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