I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
