they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
