Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
