no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
