just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
dude. I can hear the air.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
