I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
