As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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