yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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