Well apparently he's into motor boating.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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