She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
