I'm really into asian looking animals
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
