my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
