sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
