I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
