i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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