she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
