one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
