Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
