Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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