so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my sisters under your porch take her home
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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