Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
