last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
