Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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