We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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