Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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