I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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