Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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