He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
