The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize