another moral hangover. fuck.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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