In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
