Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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