Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
