I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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