Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
