So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
