Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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