Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
