I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
