butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
