Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
