I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
