There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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