I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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