i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
