There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
