I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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