Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
