I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He passed out mid-signature
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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