Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
