If that was your dad, he is hot
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
