So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
