I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
