For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
