Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
